Against the Grain

7w4d: Christmas wrap-up

Dan and I got hit with another stomach bug this weekend (we were a whole lot of fun with the boys bouncing off the walls on a Christmas high while we tried to see how little we could get off the couch) but I think we're all as healthy as we're going to get around here now.  We had Christmas get togethers every day between Wednesday and Sunday (at least it was only one per day) and I think we're finally settling down from all the running around and sugar and presents. 

I was glad that the pants I received (no one knew that they'd have a short wearing season this year) all fit for now.  I figure they'll fit again eventually so I might as well keep them.  I'm sort of surprised that my normal clothes all feel fine without modifications still.  I'm not complaining!  Let's see how long I can pull this off.  I've got the next size up in not-maternity and probably a pair or two of pants in two-sizes-up plus plenty of winter maternity.  It's summer that will be problematic. 

The telling of the family members went well.  My sister found out the night before my mom due to our goofy sisters-marrying-cousins family.  She was really excited -- she hasn't been in town for any of my pregnancies, so she's looking forward to watching me become enormous.  My mom, the only one I was worried about, was really surprised and reacted pretty much positively.  I think my dad was just surprised.  Dan's family is really excited and has warned my 8 week old niece that she should enjoy the next seven months in the spotlight.  Hopefully the future 10-months-separated cousins will be good buddies.  

I feel great in the morning, tired in the afternoon, and queasy/bloated all evening, especially after eating more than an average portion of dinner.  Christmas dinners are not my friend.  I've been able to survive without napping some afternoons, especially if I'm out doing something active, but it's rare to have a day where I don't curl up somewhere at some point.  I've fallen asleep with the boys more than once.  I gave myself 10 days off of work but I'm trying to get work done in the evenings again and we'll see if I can pull it off.  For this week, I can get more done during the day while Dan's home.  I'll have to re-evaluate what I can realistically get done once the school schedule resumes on Monday.  At least I'll be able to work while Leo's at preschool and I feel good in the morning.  With the boys' pregnancies, I felt worse earlier on, but it was getting better by now.  I'm not sure what to expect this time.  I appear to have escaped vomitting again, at least.

Sorry if I confused anyone with my post-dated entries.  I realized afterwards that I explained myself in the first one, but that came up last on the page.  It feels weird to just click 'publish now' now.  I probably won't openly talk about the pregnancy on Twitter or Facebook until we hear the heartbeat, hopefully on MLK Jr Day when I have my first official appointment at 10 1/2 weeks.

6w5d: Wednesday, Dec 23rd, 2009

We started telling people today.  While over at Dan's grandma's house making lefse, our boys were downstairs and everyone else had left except Dan's aunt and they asked whether any of Dan's cousins were likely to have a baby anytime soon.  Since we'd planned to tell them tomorrow anyway, Dan decided to just tell them today, especially since they might not be able to come tomorrow because of the snow.  Once they determined that we weren't kidding, they were pretty happy for us.  Then at dinner, we told the boys, who say they both want a sister.  Leo said maybe the baby won't wait for months but instead will get super big tonight and pop out of my tummy tomorrow.  Or maybe not, kiddo.  They thought it was hilarious that the baby is the size of a bean and will soon be a blueberry.  They seem to understand that it's a big surprise and they shouldn't tell anyone before we announce it over the next few days.

6w4d: Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

It took me five days, but on Saturday I realized that my horrid stomach cramping and generally blech feeling was quite likely due to catching Leo's stomach bug and not morning sickness.  I've never been so relieved to have a week-long stomach bug.  By yesterday, I was feeling mostly better.  I slept 24 hours of the 48 this weekend and still spend the better part of the afternoon curled up somewhere with my eyes closed whenever I can, but I'll take exhaustion over nausea.  Dan hasn't been feeling great either so our Christmas preparations are minimal.  Today he cleaned the basement (where we will spend most of Christmas Eve with the twenty of his relatives who'll be here that evening) and I picked up the living and dining rooms once I woke up this evening.  We'll be at his grandma's house making lefse most of tomorrow and haven't got our tree yet and I said I'd bring sugar cookie dough so we'll be scrambling in the morning, but it doesn't feel too overwhelming.  A lot of people are getting jams and canned pickles this year.  The only food I need to provide Christmas Eve is cookies, which we've conveniently not eaten due to the lovely stomach bug, so that won't be too hard.

On Saturday my sister flat-out asked if I was pregnant and I denied it believably enough that she didn't question me again, but she won't be shocked when we tell people.  My mom mentioned that it would be silly to buy skiing attachments for our trailer because Leo will be skiing soon, so she will be surprised.  Hopefully that will go okay.  Dan's extended family will be excited.  Only two more days until they hear.  I realized that the boys will find out Christmas Eve and we'll have to talk to them about it being a surprise for my family and hope they don't say anything right away. 

I'm still fitting the same into clothes.  I wonder whether I'll get bigger out of nowhere or if I'll spend most of the winter in my usual clothes.  I don't have any warm weather maternity stuff.

5w4d: Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I feel less good today.  I ate too much over the weekend and my body won't get over it.  I'm starting to feel like the range of how much I can eat is shrinking.  Empty stomach=bad but eating seconds or dessert is worse.  It's not hideous -- I don't have saltines by the bed or anything, but sitting her trying to work is really uncomfortable and I'd rather curl up in the ball somewhere.  Leo fell asleep in the car this afternoon and for once I wasn't tired, so I made calzones and got a little work done.  I did nap for awhile during his preschool this morning (I cut a deal with myself that if I worked for 45 minutes I could sleep on the couch until his carpool dropped him off). 

It's been two weeks since I got the positive HPT today and it feels slightly more real that there's a tiny person growing in there.  My SIL gave me the outgrown-by-6-weeks newborn clothes back, including some onesies she'd picked up.  I'm pretty sure the clothes I got back are better than the combination I lent her.  I'm not sure if she's okay with my chopping all the bottoms off though -- I do t-shirts, not onesies.  Onesies aren't wool-friendly.  It's weird to realize that my still-tiny ten pound, six week old niece is too big for things already.  And my kids start at over nine pounds, not 7.5 like her. 

5w0d: Friday, December 11, 2009

I am tired.  Oh so tired.  Tired tired tired.  Oddly, Leo's the one having stomach pain.  We brought him to the doctor on day 4 of him complaining off and on about his stomach hurting when it turned into diarrhea.  It was our first time at his new doctor's office.  We didn't meet his pediatrician because he didn't have clinic hours, but the doc who was there was very nice and Leo was shy and coy with her and said she looked like his preschool teacher.  Apparently Leo has enormous tonsils which is probably why he breathes so loudly in his sleep when he has a cold.  He doesn't have ear infections, tested negative for strep, and didn't complain when they poked his belly so they said it's probably something viral that will go away in a week or two.  Lovely.  As long as he improves enough to return to playgroups and preschool soon, we'll be okay.  It's been below zero windchill most of the week so I don't want him playing outside either. 

4w5d: Wed. Dec 9th, 2009 -- CNM Meet & Greet

I have spent the last 6 months assuming I'd spend the first month of pregnancy miserably sick and start needing the rubber band trick almost instantly.  The expected nausea was based on my own experiences and the expected bloating/immediate hugeness was based on stories of numerous pregnant-with-their-third+ friends.  That might be more week 6 or 8 and not week 5, but still.  I feel so normal.  Just sort of tired. 

Dan and I had our meet & greet with one of the CNM's from the close hospital today.  I was hoping for a blood draw so I could get a beta (something quantitative) but they had me pee in a cup.  Definitely pregnant they say.  So I didn't get two false positives and my period a week delayed.  I don't really think that, but I do think I'm worrying more about miscarriage this time because of my lack of symptoms. 

I was pleasantly surprised by the flexibility of the CNM practice.  They insist on the glucose screening with the sugar drink and group beta strep testing, but everything else sounds pretty mother-decided.  I can take or pass on the 18-20 week ultrasound (sign me up this time, I want to see who's in there) and ninth month internals.  They don't talk induction until 42 weeks.  I knew they had jacuzzi tubs in all the birthing rooms and allowed water birth, but found out that they now have a real birthing tub they'll wheel in.  They want a 15 minute EFM strip upon admission but nothing more.  They have telemetry units for higher-risk patients.  There's generally a 1:1 nurse:patient ratio during active labor.  If there's gestational diabetes or a big baby, they check blood sugar but don't push sugar water or formula until a lot of nursing attempts and/or pumping have been made.  Neither this CNM nor the one I talked to on the phone were phased when I talked about my home births and they wanted to know how they could make the hospital a better experience for me.  I asked what would happen if a baby was breathing like Leo (fast, but no mec or big problems like Peter) and was satisfied with the response.  I think both the CNMs and I would prefer to break the bag of water rather than let another baby be born in the caul to help push everything out of the lungs ahead of time.  I felt like they listened, cared, and wanted to help me be comfortable with everything and that is huge for me.  I set up a 10 week first real prenatal for MLK Jr Day so Dan can come too.  They had a bucket of toys in the room although I'm not sure I'd want to keep the boys happy in there if I didn't have to.  By mid-January we can ask for help without being secretive, at least.  I had an elaborate plan to explain why Dan was coming to the doctor with me today, but correctly assumed that no one would really ask much about it.  Maybe they suspect, but whatever.  Two more weeks until it'll be out in the open.

4w3d-4w4d: December 7th-8th, 2009

Monday

More of the same.  Didn't nap today (even though Leo did -- the chance to work in the afternoon won out) and haven't suffered from it.  I managed to ask my SIL to watch the boys during my CNM appointment without explaining why I needed a sitter.  Just maybe I can handle waiting another 2.5 weeks to really tell people.

Tuesday

I was really tired today and napped part of the time Leo was at preschool instead of working, and then again while he watched some PBS this afternoon.  But I did go to bed at 2am.  I can usually handle that a little better.  My temp dropped down to 98.2, which is still plenty high, just not as crazy-high as they've been for the last couple days, so I was sort of nervous about that.  So long as it stays over 98, I should be fine.  My lack of nausea is really messing with me.

4w2d: Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Still napping.  I remember with Leo's pregnancy I would feel so exhausted I couldn't deal with anything more than lying half-alive somewhere for most of the afternoon and early evening for months.  I wonder if that's what it was actually like or if it's just how I remember it.  Either way, I'm not tired for hours and hours (yet), but I hit late afternoon and if I can nap for awhile, I feel fine the rest of the day.  I could try going to bed at a rational hour, but that's no fun.  Eventually I might have to but I feel like I should be making the most of my time for as long as I can. 

My basal temp hit 99.0 today, so I might just be fighting off a cold and that's why I'm tired.  Or from going to bed late. 

Dan and I talked a bit about how to announce the pregnancy -- it sounds like he'll make an announcement when his family is here for Christmas Eve dinner and I'll give my mom a present on Christmas Day with my family that says something obvious.  Maybe a diaper with a note saying "F. Baby #3 will be wearing this next August".  We put a t-shirt announcing that Peter would be a big brother for Leo's pregnancy and it took forever for it to sink in so we'll aim for obvious this time.

4w1d: Sat. Dec 5, 2009

What cycle day is this?  I never have to count past 25 but I'm up to 27 now.  I'm still temping because my lack of symptoms has made me wonder if I'm the anomaly who manages to get a false positive HPT.  Because it was there, I took the second EPT test this morning and it immediately produced a considerably-darker-than-Tuesday's plus sign.  And Tuesday's wasn't faint.  My temps are sticking in the mid 98 range.  With the boys, I had one implantation dip and one with triphasic temps.  This time, neither, just steady temps over the coverline. 

Yesterday after supper I decided to lie down for a bit on the boys' bed.  It was 6:30.  At 8, they came to go to bed and I couldn't even stay awake for the prayer.  At 10, I suddenly felt warm and got out of bed.  While a 3.5 hour nap could be called a symptom, there have definitely been other days when I would have loved to do that but couldn't have gotten away with it.  I went back to bed at 2am, got up with the boys at 7:45, and was ready to nap again at 1pm.  I only slept half an hour or so that time. 

I wanted to take a 4 week picture and take my measurements while I was feeling good and before I stop being able to button my pants.   I thought about wearing the exact same clothes that I did for Peter's weekly pregnancy pictures 6 years ago but I upgraded to newer yoga pants that aren't ratty yet.  I do have the same tank top, though. 

The plan is to make a big announcement at Christmas, when I'm seven weeks.  We'll see if I can hold out that long.  I've never managed to go more than a week without telling my parents.  It might be nice to get maternity clothes as gifts, but I decided it isn't worth losing the surprise.

I called the CNM practice that delivers at the hospital five minutes away.  They have waterbirths there and only 3 CNM's, so I could get to know them all ahead of time.  I've had a couple friends have bad experiences with one of the midwives, so I requested a meet & greet appointment where Dan and I can get a feeling for whether they'll be right for us.  They'll also confirm the pregnancy.  I've never seen anyone before 9 weeks, so that'll be different.  The scheduler wasn't sure if they'd do a blood test or have me pee in a cup.  I'm hoping for the blood test so I can get a beta number, even if I don't have another to compare it to.  If I'm going the more medical route, I'd at least like to get some data out of it.  I admit I've already figured out that I would probably be having a ultrasound in late March -- enough of this waiting to find out the sex stuff, I want to know.  

I don't think I'm going to feel really confident about this until I start feeling more symptoms of some kind.  I wouldn't mind skipping the nausea, but  it's messing with my head.  I'm still checking too see if I'm bleeding every time I pee.

August it is (written at 4w0d Fri Dec 4, 2009)

I took a test Tuesday morning, 8 hours after my post about the in-between days, on cd23 and 11dpo.  Pretty darn positive, wouldn't you say?  I'm now on day 26, 14dpo with temps staying high and I half-think my period is just going to show up anyway.  I'm now at least a day late with my longest cycle all year, even if I somehow had a false positive.  I'm not feeling anything -- I think I had more symptoms in the last few months that turned out to be nothing. 

I've been debating how to blog about early pregnancy and finally decided to post-date things until Christmas.  When I was pregnant with my boys, no one IRL read the blog and I didn't have to worry about information getting back to people.  I'm not much of a secret keeper, but I don't want to tell all my Facebook friends this early, or more importantly, my parents.  I'd like to think I can keep this quiet until Christmas, but we'll see.  Three weeks might be a long time especially if I start feeling horrific. I'm curious to see if anyone will ask what's going on--I plan to reply to people depending on whether the news would get back to family. 

I've had a few days for the news to sink in, so this post isn't coming across as bouncy as it would have on Tuesday.  We are excited, in that cautious-is-the-baby-really-going-to-stick sort of way.  My due date is Friday, August 13th.  That's about a week before Dan's supposed to head back to school.  It would be nice if this baby would exert his/her independence from his/her siblings and shock us by showing up a week or so early, but I just assume I'll go to 41 weeks after hitting 16 and 5 days late the first two times.  My due date is almost exactly 6 months off from my first pregnancy and about 5 off from my second, so both my maternity clothes and baby clothes are all off.  I can probably get away with spring and fall stuff being interchanged but I have no warm weather maternity at all and I'll need summer clothes for the tiniest size.  After that, I'd be able to use my SIL's hand-me-downs, especially if I have a girl. 

I should be sewing diapers before the nausea and exhaustion set in.  I made a lot for my SIL, but if I want to use only fitteds, I'll need more.  I'll try to get my new serger functioning first.